Beyond the Price Tag: Reclaiming a More Meaningful Vocabulary

Reading in a Garden (Lettura in giardino). Pompeo Mariani, 1904-05. Courtesy the National Gallery of Art, Washington.

True elegance is not bought; it's cultivated.
True luxury is not displayed; it's experienced.
True refinement is not acquired; it's embodied.

When you hear the words "elegance," "luxury," or "refined," what imagery springs to mind? Is it a lavish getaway to a five-star resort, the sleek lines of a high-performance car, or perhaps a quiet moment of solitude with a perfectly brewed cup of tea?

It's easy to see how these words have become intertwined with material wealth. Over time, they've often been used to evoke images of expensive possessions and exclusive experiences. It seems they've been somewhat hijacked—used in persuasive sales copy to differentiate products, entice affluent buyers, or encourage aspirational spending.

However, I've come to believe that "elegance," "luxury," and "refined" at their core, represent a way of living, a set of qualities we can all cultivate to enrich our lives and create a refined life.

Unpacking True Elegance

The word "elegance" originates from the Latin "eligere," meaning "to choose or select with care". This points to discernment and thoughtful selection as the foundation of elegance. The Latin "elegans" meant "choice, fine, tasteful," suggesting that careful choices lead to desirable outcomes marked by fineness and good taste. Initially, "elegance" in English, appearing in the late 15th century from the Old French "élégant" meant "tastefully ornate".

Elegance, in its truest sense, is less about opulence and more about restrained beauty and style. It embodies the guiding principles of the refined life, which emphasize choosing wisely, focusing on what truly matters, and making space for meaningful elements in our lives. It’s about being intentional in our choices, which is a cornerstone of minimalist luxury.

The Layers of Luxury

"Luxury" traces its roots to the Latin "luxuria," meaning "extravagance or excess". It connects to "luxus," also Latin for "luxury" and "excess," which interestingly shares a root with "lux," meaning "light," hinting at a potential older association with illumination or intellectual wealth. Initially, in English around 1340 from French, "luxury" was tied to sensuality, meaning "lust".

While "luxury" can describe things beyond necessity, it also encompasses a sense of ease and comfort. In the refined life, luxury aligns with intentional living—prioritizing what we value and letting go of distractions. It's about quality over quantity, a principle I learned when I operated my design boutique years ago.

I realized then that true luxury wasn't just about a price tag. It was about craftsmanship, history, and the story behind an object. Many of the products I sold were handmade, carrying on traditions that stretched back for generations. Owning something carefully designed and made by human hands offers a unique experience in a world often filled with the mass-produced.

Refined: Beyond Financial Wealth

"Refined" emerged in the late 1500s, derived from the verb "refine," which meant "to bring or reduce to a pure state". To describe people, it meant a freedom from coarseness, implying cultivation and elegance.

Refinement, at its heart, is about stripping away impurities—whether in objects, habits, or our surroundings—to reveal the best versions of ourselves and our lives. It is with this meaning in mind that I titled my newsletter and blog “The Refined Life.” It is about stripping away things that do not add value to your life and only leaving the good parts, the best parts, the elegant parts, and the luxurious parts. It echoes the minimalist philosophy of eliminating the nonessentials to focus on what truly matters.

Reclaiming a More Meaningful Vocabulary

Reclaiming these words is not a passive endeavor; it's an invitation to actively reshape our lives. It begins with introspection: What does "elegance" truly mean to you? Where do you find true luxury, beyond the allure of status symbols? What does it mean for you to live a refined life?

Let's embark on this journey of redefinition together, creating lives that resonate with authenticity and intentionality. I encourage you to reflect on these questions and share your insights with me on Instagram. Let's start a conversation!